?

Log in

No account? Create an account
Weird Law Stuff [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Weird Law Stuff

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

Escaped snakes [Nov. 20th, 2009|02:32 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[mood |deviousdevious]

Someone mistakenly leaves the cages open in the reptile house at the Bronx Zoo and there are snakes slithering all over the place.

Frantically, the keeper tries everything, but he can't get them back in their cages. Finally he says, "Quick, call a lawyer!"

"A lawyer? Why??"

"We need someone who speaks their langauge!"
link2 comments|post comment

http://www.twitter.com/ComicTwit [Oct. 6th, 2009|12:42 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[Current Location |94306]
[mood |peacefulpeaceful]
[music |The Prairie Home Companion]

I'm a man of my convictions...but I'm far more proud of my acquittals.
linkpost comment

haha [Oct. 1st, 2009|01:48 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[Current Location |94306]
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |106.9FM KCBS]

"I learned law so well, the day I graduated I sued the college, won the case, and got my tuition back." -Fred Allen
link1 comment|post comment

been awhile since I've done one of these [Jul. 9th, 2009|12:41 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[Current Location |94306]
[mood |rushedrushed]
[music |Law & Order]

News of the WeirdTM
(c) 1999-2001 , Chuck Shepherd. All rights reserved.

WEEK OF JULY 5, 2009

Compelling Explanations
Marcella Rivera said the last she heard was that her soldier-husband, William Rivera, would try to reconcile with her and their five children when he got back from Iraq, but then her mother saw a TV program on returning soldiers that showed William being married to another woman. Marcella pressed a bigamy charge in Independence, Mo., but prosecutors dropped it in May after William convinced them that "post-traumatic stress disorder" suffered in Iraq had made him forget that he was married. [KCTV (Kansas City), 5-20-09]

What About My Rights?
Chutzpah: In 2006, a jury in Tampa convicted William Deparvine, 57, of murdering a husband and wife in order to steal their restored, vintage 1971 Chevy truck that they had offered to sell Deparvine. Judge and jury agreed on the death penalty, and thus began the inevitable delay until execution. With time on his hands, Deparvine filed a lawsuit in 2007 against the dead couple's estate, insisting (in line with his failed trial defense) that the truck is now his, that the couple had signed over a bill of sale before they died. The couple's family, having hoped to move on from the tragedy, is instead busy filing court papers. [St. Petersburg Times, 6-15-09]

In June, lawyer Alfred Rava announced a $500,000 settlement of his lawsuit against the Oakland A's baseball team for "discriminating" illegally against men when it gave away 7,500 floppy hats to the first women through the turnstiles on a 2004 Mother's Day breast-cancer-awareness promotion. Rava may get about half ("attorney's fees"), and any man who swears he was among the first 7,500 fans through the gates that day, and who wanted a hat, will get $50 cash plus other premiums. [American Bar Association Journal, 6-18-09]

A News of the Weird Classic (March 1993)
In September 1992 in Chicago, Frank D. Zeffere III filed a lawsuit for $40,000 in lost dating expenses against a woman who had broken off their engagement. However, Zeffere, who is a lawyer, wrote her an offer of an out-of-court settlement, beginning with, "I am still willing to marry you on the conditions hereinbelow set forth," and ending, "Please feel free to call me if you have any questions or would like to discuss any of the matters addressed herein. Sincerely, Frank." [Los Angeles Daily News-AP, 9-30-92]
linkpost comment

Frivolous lawsuits by inmates [Jun. 24th, 2009|01:54 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[mood |determined]

America's jailbirds don't give up. Disappointed by the criminal justice system, this plucky lot still has faith in the civil side. Last year, the states spent $81 million defending what state attorneys general called frivolous lawsuits. Here are a few favourites:

A Virginia inmate tried to sue himself for $5 million on the grounds that he had gotten drunk and caused himself to violate his religious beliefs by committing a crime. Because he had no money, he wanted the state to pay the $5 million.

A convicted New York rapist sued the state, claiming he lost sleep and suffered headaches and chest pains after being given a "defective haircut" by an unqualified barber.

A Nevada inmate sued when he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter at the Nevada State Prison canteen and received one chunky and one creamy.

A San Quentin death row inmate sued California, claiming his civil rights were violated because his packages were sent via UPS rather than the U.S. Postal Service.

An Oklahoma inmate alleged his religious freedoms were violated but could not say just how, because the main tenet of his faith was that all its practices were secret.

An Arizona inmate sued when he was not invited to a pizza party that prison employees held for a guard leaving his job.

An Indiana prisoner sued because he wanted to obtain Rogain for his baldness.

An Ohio inmate sued for being denied possession of soap on a rope.

An Oklahoma inmate sued because he was forced to listen to country music.

A Colorado con sued for early release because "everyone knows a con only serves about three years of a 10-year sentence."
link4 comments|post comment

May 11, 2009: Alpha Dog of the Week - Erik Slye [May. 12th, 2009|01:11 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[mood |amusedamused]

The case of the Montana Legal System v. Dog's Ball Wrinkles sets a legal precedent.
link1 comment|post comment

Jury Duty via FailBlog.org [May. 9th, 2009|09:18 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

insertnamehere2
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |"How Long" ~The Eagles]

Our civic duties apparently offend some to a strange extreme...

Observe this good citizen's application to forgo his Jury Duty:

fail owned pwned pictures
see more pwn and owned pictures

Crossposted to weirdlaw and my personal LJ.
linkpost comment

legal parrots [May. 8th, 2009|12:21 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[mood |okayokay]

A man goes into a pet shop to buy a parrot. The shop owner points to three identical-looking parrots on a perch and says: "The parrot on the left costs $500." "Why does the parrot cost so much?" asks the customer. The owner says "Well, the parrot knows how to do legal research."

The customer then asks about the next parrot, to be told that this one costs $1,000 because it can do everything the other parrot can do plus it knows how to write a brief that will win any case.

Naturally, the increasingly startled customer asks about the third parrot, to be told that it costs $4,000. Needless to say, this begs the question, "What can it do?" To which the owner replies, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him Senior Partner."
link2 comments|post comment

WEEK OF APRIL 5, 2009 [Apr. 10th, 2009|12:04 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

evilgrins
[Current Location |94306]
[mood |awake]
[music |106.9FM KCBS]

A News of the Weird Classic (August 1997)
News of the Weird reported that hard-luck Oklahoma rapist Darron Bennalford Anderson had received a 2,200-year sentence in a Tulsa court in 1994 but had won a new trial. Unfortunately for him, he was re-convicted in 1996 and re-sentenced, to more than 90 additional centuries behind bars (a total of 11,250 years, including 40 centuries each for rape and sodomy, 17 centuries for kidnapping, 10 centuries for burglary and robbery, and five centuries for grand larceny). In July 1997, the state Court of Criminal Appeals dismissed the grand larceny charge, as double jeopardy on the robbery conviction, speeding Anderson's release date up 500 years to 12,744 A.D. [Dallas Morning News, 7-24-97]
linkpost comment

Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything...and still managed to go bankrupt. [Feb. 13th, 2009|02:37 pm]
Weird Law Stuff

faceless_wonder
[mood |amusedamused]
[music |"slow drain" by the exies]

i encountered the greatest case name ever yesterday:

Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. v.
State Fair Park Exposition Center
, 318 B.R. 502 (Bankr. W.D.Wis. 2004).

now, when you read that, what do you think is going on? i don't know about you, but after reading the caption i immediately assumed that the contract with the convention center was for some kind of geeky convention, maybe cosplay or LARPing. seriously, what other kinds of events would a company called Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything run?

well, i was completely wrong. the company was in the business of running trade shows. that's right, trade shows! sadly, they were not even trade shows for cool things like cannons, peg legs, rum, and pirate hats. they ran things like the "milwaukee home and garden show" and the "great midwest log home and timber frame show". this, of course, leaves me rather unsurprised that the company declared bankruptcy. who would hire a company called Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. to run a SRS BSNS >:-[ trade show? on the other hand, it's equally hard to understand someone who wanted to name their business something as whimisical as Pirates Hyjacked Robbed and Stole Everything, Inc. running something as boring and mundane as trade shows.

however...if this law thing doesn't work out, maybe i'll buy the rights to that name from the bankrupt entity and use it for my company. i don't yet know what my company would do, but it would definitely involve cooler stuff than home, garden, and timber frame shows.
link4 comments|post comment

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]